What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

Some people just can't handle that they will never be a better actor than me

I know every politician spins the truth a little.

A lot of people say colonialism was 'evil' or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don't think it should be considered 'racist' to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa.

I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.

I think a big part of being a success is confidence. Just look at me, I know I'm successful, and I am.

If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.