People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.

Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that

It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.

Actually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time.

I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's a liar. So what the hell's the point of a trial, y'know?

I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.

People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.