It depresses me when people expect me to be like the characters I play on film. I'm not some whiny loser punk, I'm a man's man.

I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?

If nothing else, I'm making a movie that I'll enjoy.

I lot of people remember when that kid spray-painted my brand new Porsche for Punk'd. That was pretty funny. He got me pretty good. Of course, most people don't know I eventually got him back with my own show. I call it a show, really it's just an hour-long video shot in my bedroom featuring the two of us.

If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it's light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.

It's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.

I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.