Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.

I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help matters.

I never go looking for child pornography, but I mean, if somebody sends me an email with some pictures, I'm not going to turn around and report them.

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.

I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.

I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.