Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and I only had one quarter... Well I'd probably keep it actually.

Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust.

I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.

It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!

I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.

I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.

I love signing autographs! Sometimes, when people ask me for one, I keep the photo for myself and frame it. It's a Win-Win situation really; I get an extra 25 dollars in my pocket AND another portrait for my bedroom.