Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and I only had one quarter... Well I'd probably keep it actually.

Im just not really attracted to black chicks.

I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?

Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later.

What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

So, yeah, I mean, there is something universal about that feeling - that 20-something, what the hell am I going to do with my life, I'm lost and my parents are freaking me out, and what's the point? Every generation has a way of making that unique, but there are certain universals of that feeling.

I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don't think I'll ever get married...it just wouldn't be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.