Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and I only had one quarter... Well I'd probably keep it actually.

I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff.

I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.

I don't like the idea of drama schools. They only perpetuate the myth that everyone can do what I do

When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.

My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.

That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction.