I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help matters.

When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.

I can't watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where's the substantive news? Where's the Zach Braff coverage?

There is one person I can think of better than me. And that's Zach Braff. What a cool guy.

Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.

It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.

Over half a century on and they're still complaining about it. Compare it to the fact that Garden State didn't win an Oscar and they seem a little petty if you ask me. I guess that just goes to show what kind of people they really are.