Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist

I want to take piano lessons, I want to study at university, I want to travel, I want to do other parts, make another movie.

When I was little I always wanted to drive a train. That, and become a baker.

I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?

My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.

I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.

A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.