Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist

Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist

I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.

It's hard for me not to be extraordinarily cute. I had to fight it.

Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?

I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.

Sometimes I regret not being Catholic. I think I'd make a pretty good saint.