I find it hard to believe that so many people doubt the existence of God. I mean, seriously, I'm here, so is it such a stretch to imagine that another all-powerful being could exist somewhere in the universe?

I wouldn't say I'm bigger than Jesus. If I had to guess, I'd say probably, yeah, but as far as I know, the bible is never clear on this.

I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.

I blame Walt Disney; well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?

If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises.

Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really have to offer to society.

It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some acting tips?' 'Zach, will you let me blow you?' 'Can I have some cash?' That's when I made the call, that's when I decided seven was enough