They say the number on rule in showbusiness is not to work with animals. I guess I'm above the rules because I put up with that for seven years.

It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.

I've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me clean my room and stuff

I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?

I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.

Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog