They say the number on rule in showbusiness is not to work with animals. I guess I'm above the rules because I put up with that for seven years.

I think I suffer from some mild depression.

I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.

You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

Well, I've thought about donating, but they get so many damn donations already. I read about one foundation that raised over 100 million dollars. Well where the hell did that go? For all I know every starving child has a 2 story house by now. Or maybe they're all raging alcoholics, like homeless people. Homeless people who are more effective when it comes to raising money. Who wants to support alcoholic children? Not me.

People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.