Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would women have arms? Or feet? Or mouths?

People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see? I mean, God doesn't make mistakes, just look at me for example.

Look on the bright side; that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.

When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.

The way I write is that I'll actually have a conversation out loud with myself. In a weird way, I just kind of get schizophrenic and play two characters.