Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.

As a kid who wasn't into sports, at school I felt almost alienated at times, whereas in the theatre community there was this amazing sense of camaraderie. Early on, we would go to rehearsals with my dad and I was like the mascot for the backstage crew. That was a big part of my childhood, so I dreamed of one day doing a play in London.

It's not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny once in a while.

It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.

I donno, it's not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.

People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.

I'm not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early.