Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.

Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?

It's not that I'm racist or anything, because I'm not, but I just don't think we should be wasting our time helping people that are going to die soon anyway.

The way I write is that I'll actually have a conversation out loud with myself. In a weird way, I just kind of get schizophrenic and play two characters.

Everyone has a warped vision of Hollywood and what success in Hollywood is like.

I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something

I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.