Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.

If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!

When you win your first Grammy, it's true, you really want to thank all the little people.

Ya know, Hitler was this evil, evil man. But with the World Bank and Israel manipulating America, he might have been on to something.

My co-stars aren't bad actors, but they're no Zach Braff.

I mean, I understand that Scrubs was my big break, but sooner or later you have to move on. I've already directed a movie, which received very good reviews, so it just seems much more important to me now. I feel that in order to better foster my creativity as an actor and director at this point, I need to be surrounded by other talented, artistic individuals, instead of just goofy comedians.

If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect me.