Ya know, Hitler was this evil, evil man. But with the World Bank and Israel manipulating America, he might have been on to something.

I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.

I tried it a few times but didn't see the point. I'm Zach Braff. What the fudge do I need a team for besides holding me back and sucking? If I wanted that, I'd just walk on the set of 'Scrubs'.

One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.

When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.

You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.

Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?