Ya know, Hitler was this evil, evil man. But with the World Bank and Israel manipulating America, he might have been on to something.

It's really hard to find parts that challenge me as an actor these days. At this point in my career, I feel like I can just sleepwalk through most of my roles and still do a better job than 90 percent of the actors out there.

You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.

I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.

My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.