Ya know, Hitler was this evil, evil man. But with the World Bank and Israel manipulating America, he might have been on to something.

I'm a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don't know the difference and, let's face it, they aren't going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

I mean, nobody's ever thrown a big rock at me or my friends, but we're all pretty tough guys and could probably handle it.

I think in a play it's wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from the audience.

I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left; the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.

It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.