My co-stars aren't bad actors, but they're no Zach Braff.

I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.

Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust.

I don't know why people were so upset with me. Prince got his own symbol. I just wanted to adopt the handicap symbol as my own so I could park in handicap spots. Deformed people should be honored to park so close to me. Meeting a celebrity like me may give them hope in their mistake of a life.

Gay men in L.A. are all a bunch of tens looking for an eleven.

I always encourage over-tipping if you can afford it because share the wealth.

Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it's in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.