If I had a billion dollars I would...oh wait...already do.

People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing on earth better than being famous.

Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power.

I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.

Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?

Look on the bright side; that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.

I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.