Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?

I think I suffer from some mild depression.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I blame Walt Disney; well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?

I've been doing som jogging at home recently and every time I try the distance I end up beating his time with like three or four seconds.

I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.

Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.