I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?

Bigger than the Beatles? Well, how many grammys did they win? Exactly, none, yet I have one, and I've never even released a CD.

That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction.

Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.

I wouldn't exactly call it 'Intelligent', but somebody has to be behind designing the human form other than just biological necessity. Why else would women have arms? Or feet? Or mouths?

I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.

I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet I've saved more lives with my acting talent then any doctor has.