I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?

When you win your first Grammy, it's true, you really want to thank all the little people.

Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.

I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.

It's not that I'm racist or anything, because I'm not, but I just don't think we should be wasting our time helping people that are going to die soon anyway.

I don't like the term 'black people', I find it demeaning to those of us that actually qualify as 'people'.

The Jews are just clumsy bakers.