My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.

Put God and me in a cage, what do you think who will win. God, because I created him.

I never looked at bread the same way again

People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see? I mean, God doesn't make mistakes, just look at me for example.

Look on the bright side; that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.

A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.

Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.