That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction.

I can't say I agree with something that takes the focus away from me.

Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children's hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?

Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?

If Democrats want to start winning elections in this country, they're going to have to start connecting with voters as well as I connect with my fans.

I can't watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where's the substantive news? Where's the Zach Braff coverage?

It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!