That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction.

I believe the general consensus is the bigger it is, the more women flock to you. I guess its a good thing mine is HUGE!

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me.

I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.

I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.

Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.

In my opinion, one of the biggest drawbacks about Sergio Leone films are the scores composed by Ennio Morricone. If [Leone] were as talented as I am, he would have made mixtapes for his movies instead of letting some schmuck write the soundtracks for him. But then if he were as talented as I am, he'd be Zach Braff. And have his own Grammy.