That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction.

I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.

I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.

I'm not the kind of person who digs through things other people have thrown away.

Every single person wants to do it, don't hate me because I had the guts to follow my heart!

Bigger than the Beatles? Well, how many grammys did they win? Exactly, none, yet I have one, and I've never even released a CD.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.