I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

People are always going to find fault with anything you do, any process that you're a part of. The creative process means taking risks, I've taken risks and I've made mistakes, but the bottom line is, could anyone else have done any better ? I have to believe that what I created was worthwhile.

Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?

I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?

I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's a liar. So what the hell's the point of a trial, y'know?

My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.

I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to masturbate. It was sunny and clear out, so I was worried one of the other drivers would see me, but my jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I think no one noticed. I busted a nut and aimed it down, ruining my tweety bird floor mat. I felt kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent the rest of the drive home. It was awkward and I regret it.