You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.

I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

If you see something, say something.

My comfort zone is press conferences.

I don't like to have anybody tell me to be in a place at certain times. That's kind of the advantage of stand up. You're self-employed.