You're not supposed to be accepting trophies. You're supposed to be in the back being mad that people are getting trophies.

A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.

I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective.

We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it's in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics.

When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, "Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.

Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.

I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.