I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.

I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.

My real last name is Galifianakisburg.

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horseshit.

I do whatever comes my way. But I get burned out on stage. It's a lonely world. I think part of the romanticism about being on the road is you get to meet a lot of - my mom once told me, "You've probably got a woman at every port." Like I'm a pirate. Obviously she doesn't know her son that well.

I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food