I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."

I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'

I watch a happy person doing stand-up, and I go, "What the hell is this? This person's happy!" You need internal conflict. You need the guy to be out of step with society. It's a tool for comedy.

I like characters that are fragile and a little bit on the edge .

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.