I don't want my personal life to change. I don't understand why people strive for fame. I know it's ironic for me to be saying this, but this will be the last one I do.

When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, "Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.

My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.

The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out; I don't think it really exists anymore.

You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don't have to shave.