When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.

If you see something, say something.

I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.

But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.

I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.

Hookers don't like to snuggle.