If you see something, say something.

I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life.

I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.

People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.

My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.

I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'

I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.