I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'

I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.

I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.

You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.

People get TV deals by doing something in their grandmother's basement. It is definitely the wave. Everybody is trying to do all that stuff. I mean, the Internet is the only reason that I've gotten work is because I've somehow created a line and people have seen it. And then I've been asked to auditions.

People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way.

My real last name is Galifianakisburg.