Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.

I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.

I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.

I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.