Reciting lines is hard; making stuff up is much, much easier.

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.

It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me'. Being popular is poison.

I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.

But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.

I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.

I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.