I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.

Hookers don't like to snuggle.

Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?

I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.

That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.

I'm the most mellow person offstage. I think it's just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I'm too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I'd rather do it in front of 1,000 people who've paid $25 to see me lose my mind.

I know my face is turning red. I don't want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It's rage. The color of my face is rage.