Come over to my house with your sister, baby, and I'll show you who's gay!

When I got the red card all the Chelsea players come around. It felt like I had a lot of babies around me.

England is a very strong league, with three or four of the best teams in Europe, but, if I had played there, I would have destroyed it, like I have everywhere else.

Only God knows You’re talking to him now.

That's how it is with the English: if you score against them you're a good player; if you don't, you're not.

I like fireworks too, but I set them off in gardens or kebab stands. I never set fire to my own house.

José Mourinho is a big star. He's nice. The first time he met Helena [Ibrahimovic's partner] he whispered to her: 'Helena, you have only one mission - feed Zlatan, let him sleep, keep him happy.' That guy says whatever he wants. I like him.