Kosovo is Serbian, only if my mother is a Virgin

First I went left, he did too. Then I went right, and he did too. Then I went left again, and he went to buy a hot dog.

Only God knows You’re talking to him now.

When I got the red card all the Chelsea players come around. It felt like I had a lot of babies around me.

England is a very strong league, with three or four of the best teams in Europe, but, if I had played there, I would have destroyed it, like I have everywhere else.

When you buy me, you are buying a Ferrari. If you drive a Ferrari you put premium fuel in the tank, you drive onto the motorway and you floor the accelerator. Guardiola filled up with diesel and went for a spin in the countryside. If that’s what he wanted, he should have bought himself a Fiat from the start.

One thing is for sure, a World Cup without me is nothing to watch so it is not worthwhile to wait for the World Cup.