I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.

I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.