Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.