If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.