A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

My first car was a motorcycle.

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.