The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

My first car was a motorcycle.