My motto is "more mystery, less history".

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

There are certain things women are better at than men.