My motto is "more mystery, less history".

I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.

I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.