Welfare is monetary methadone.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?