Welfare is monetary methadone.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

I'm a comedian, not a politician.