Welfare is monetary methadone.

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?