The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.