We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, "Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome."

I know everything because I know nothing.

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.