It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.