If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!