People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.