I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.

The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.