I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.