I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn't break it down piece by piece, stage by stage. The best gift you can give yourself is some drive--that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates. The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.