I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.

Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'