Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

I know everything because I know nothing.

My motto is "more mystery, less history".

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.