I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

That's the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can't pursue your dream till you're 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.