Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

When you do television, there's more to do, and when you do new television, there's a lot more to do, especially when you don't have partner. I miss not having that person.

It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.