I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
Adam CarollaWhat we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
Adam CarollaMy mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
Adam CarollaPeople look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
Adam Carolla