I get depressed at airports.

I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.

When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.

What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.